India in Analog | Part Two – Hindustan and the Mustached Men

In the west I think it takes a certain type of man to pull off a mustache. Some of us simply can’t grow an adequate plumage, and for those that can we risk being labelled ‘sleazy looking’ or ‘greasy.’ How did these qualities get associated with the mustache – I don’t know.

Judging by old TV shows once upon a time it must have been ‘cool.’ But I guess fashion is fashion and those who can pull off the mustache without facing ridicule are few and far between. Still a part of me longs to sprout a hairy upper lip.

Perhaps India is the last vestige on earth for that freedom. There, mustached men defiantly out number non-mustached men. To be honest it made me feel a little self-conscious – I can probably count on two hands the number of hairs I have in that sacred region. I found myself constantly assessing my own lack of facial hair with pangs of jealously.

One day the pangs got so intense that I went as far as drawing on a fuller soup strainer with a posca pen. Like a wig or fake breasts, this did wonders for my confidence. I was able to strut with my head up, a man.